Will I remember what it was like to have 2 little ones when I am older? Things like I haven't slept for more than about 4-5 hours straight in more than 2 year.

Lillie calles a "wedgie" a "squidgy". Makes me laugh every time.

In the silent darkness L says "I love you mama". I said "I love you too lil. Sweet dreams" then she says "I take care of Miles". I've been at work, I melted

birthday ideas???

Baby boy's first birthday is less than 3 weeks away. AAAhhhhhh! I still haven't decided on where to have it! Need ideas quick!

i have no witty title...

Well, I don't know that things are much better from last time I wrote, but I have decided not to feel sad about it anymore. It is what it is. I'm looking forward for change not backwards. It took me a whole month of the new year to get here, but hey, you know (sorry that last part was totally from a kid's dvd that I've seen a million times. it's late and I don't ever get much sleep, especially last night).

I set up a booth at a local handmade consignment boutique. It's trendy, upscale, with a touch of funky. She seems to be doing well and is expanding both to a new location and into space next door. Here's hoping that something comes of it. I would really love to see even a slight bit of profit, not just cover my costs. I shouldn't think about it too much or it will never happen...

I'm also hoping that I can find time to make more stuff to put into the space. I already feel stressed over being a mom, housekeepng duties (that I share), work, teach classes (which takes a boat load of time to develop, create and then set up for before you even get to the teaching part), and make stuff to sell. I really want to make something happen. That is my sole motivation. Must.make.something.happen.

Believe it or not I have made progress on cleaning out my studio. Don't let me fool you, I still have a long, long way but I motivated to make that happen too. It would really make me happy to have an awesome, functional work space.

The littles are growing like weeds. Miles will be one in just three short weeks. How the heck did that happen? I have a party to plan. Add it to the list of to do's. Between being sick for over a week and non-stop rain, they have been making me a little crazy. Independent 2 year old spirits are shining brightly. And there she is...awake...again. goodnight.



To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

hmmmm

I feel a bit lost. Like a puzzle piece missing from it's box. I had been feeling very positive and like things were getting on track for me. Now, it seem as if things have stalled out and I don't know how to kick start it up again. I started a new job, I'm the newbie there and I often feel like I don't get taken seriously. I actually works to my advantage sometimes, but I've worked retail in this industry for 13 years now so I have a LOT of knowledge that feels like it's wasting away in my little brain. I've added more classes to the calendar but many aren't even making. With the exception of one rockin class, I usually only get 2 people per class. Today I had a two hour class that has taken weeks of planning and preparation and I made $8 after it was all said and done. The only way to make any money is to get more people to sign up. I don't know how to reach out to all of the people who used to take my classes and let them know I'm teaching again. On a more personal note, I felt like I was starting to make some good new friends. Now I feel like things have kind of fizzled and I'm feeling a bit lonely. I know it's up to me to keep things going, but I guess I don't know how. How to reach out, how to make time, how to make it all happen. There are several relationships in my life that I really want to grow and nurture and develop into something...something more. I know these things take time. Maybe I'm impatient, maybe I'm too hard on myself. I just feel like I need a little more, a little kick start, a little something...

I purchased a lease on a space in a craft boutique today. At this point I really feel like I'm spending more money than I'm making and that's scary to me as it's been a rough period financially for way too long now. I'm trying really hard to make something happen. Hopefully something will work out. It has to, it just has to.

yeah, i know...

"Miles, did you know it's Christmas?"

So much for keeping up with a new blog. If there is one thing you can count on, it's that I'm inconsistent. {sigh}

We took down the crib today. Made me a little sad although we never really used it. I guess it's just the symbolism of taking it down. Miles is only 10 months old, yet it seems like we are done with little baby things. It's the biggest draw back of having two that are close in age. The baby-ness goes by too fast. I think one day I'll look back and be sad about it, it already makes me kind of sad. Right now I'm focusing on getting that room cleaned and reorganized. I'm feeling very ready for a new year and a fresh start. This will be the first year that I haven't been pregnant for any part of since 2006. I have so many things on my wants, needs, desires list and I can't wait to get started. Wish me luck, I am going to need it!

Here's some more eye candy from christmas. The is the first Christmas in a really, really long time that I have truly enjoyed. I feel very blessed.