hmmmm

I feel a bit lost. Like a puzzle piece missing from it's box. I had been feeling very positive and like things were getting on track for me. Now, it seem as if things have stalled out and I don't know how to kick start it up again. I started a new job, I'm the newbie there and I often feel like I don't get taken seriously. I actually works to my advantage sometimes, but I've worked retail in this industry for 13 years now so I have a LOT of knowledge that feels like it's wasting away in my little brain. I've added more classes to the calendar but many aren't even making. With the exception of one rockin class, I usually only get 2 people per class. Today I had a two hour class that has taken weeks of planning and preparation and I made $8 after it was all said and done. The only way to make any money is to get more people to sign up. I don't know how to reach out to all of the people who used to take my classes and let them know I'm teaching again. On a more personal note, I felt like I was starting to make some good new friends. Now I feel like things have kind of fizzled and I'm feeling a bit lonely. I know it's up to me to keep things going, but I guess I don't know how. How to reach out, how to make time, how to make it all happen. There are several relationships in my life that I really want to grow and nurture and develop into something...something more. I know these things take time. Maybe I'm impatient, maybe I'm too hard on myself. I just feel like I need a little more, a little kick start, a little something...

I purchased a lease on a space in a craft boutique today. At this point I really feel like I'm spending more money than I'm making and that's scary to me as it's been a rough period financially for way too long now. I'm trying really hard to make something happen. Hopefully something will work out. It has to, it just has to.