yeah, i know...

"Miles, did you know it's Christmas?"

So much for keeping up with a new blog. If there is one thing you can count on, it's that I'm inconsistent. {sigh}

We took down the crib today. Made me a little sad although we never really used it. I guess it's just the symbolism of taking it down. Miles is only 10 months old, yet it seems like we are done with little baby things. It's the biggest draw back of having two that are close in age. The baby-ness goes by too fast. I think one day I'll look back and be sad about it, it already makes me kind of sad. Right now I'm focusing on getting that room cleaned and reorganized. I'm feeling very ready for a new year and a fresh start. This will be the first year that I haven't been pregnant for any part of since 2006. I have so many things on my wants, needs, desires list and I can't wait to get started. Wish me luck, I am going to need it!

Here's some more eye candy from christmas. The is the first Christmas in a really, really long time that I have truly enjoyed. I feel very blessed.

Breathe deep and let it go. Seriously, do it now. Close your eyes and let go.

make it happen

My life seems to be in the yoursobusyyourheadisspinning cycles of life. Seems like 2 months have gone by in half a blink. Since Ellen was here, I've been really pushing the art & teaching thing. I taught three classes last weekend. Two on Saturday and one Sunday. I haven't had a teaching schedule like that since I taught at the Great American Scrapbook Show when I was pregnant with Lillie. I made a 2.5 hour break between the two classes on Saturday in which I had lunch, took the babies to the park and made photocopies for class. I had a good turn out of students (4, 12, and 22 respectively). It was exhausting yet such a fun way to make a living. I have also pursued several upcoming arts events to become a vendor. I've realized that I can make as much working every weekday as I can teaching one day during the weekend. I'm really am trying to make this happen. I don't want to find childcare and find a day job. It would break my heart. So, for now I'm trying to make it happen. Teach classes, do art shows, Etsy, and hopefully more design work. That means I stay up way too late making, designing, and brainstorming in my studio and of course my house will just stay a bit messy as I spill out onto the dining room table with yet more projects. I've been working hard cleaning out the studio. Getting rid of the sales rep stuff and making a functional workable studio. I've even thought about teaching private classes in there. I'm really motivated to make it happen. I find myself asking Paco for 5 minutes here and there to work on it. My work is starting to pay off, you can even see floor space in there!!!

Oh, I got my copy of the new publication called Cards & Trinkets that I have work in. Designing for that company has repeatedly been a disappointing experience, but I need the paycheck. Hopefully I can teach some classes with some of the projects, as they returned that stuff too.

whew

I'm exhausted and really feel run down. It was a whirlwind week with Ellen's visit. Although it was the longest she's ever been here, it went by in a flash. The rainy weather really put a damper on things and we didn't get to do as many fun things as I was hoping for. I took no pictures (yes, I know...be shocked) which makes me terribly sad. ---L just woke up and I had to go lay with her until she fell back to sleep. I now have no desire to finish this post. I'll just say that baby boy has learned how to clap. He's still not crawling and it's really starting to piss him off.

Disappointment is such a harsh reality.

you win some, you lose some

Today, I decided to go to the big kid's consignment sale. In the rain I loaded up my two kids into the car, got there put one in the stroller, the other in the Ergo. So far so good. We looked around for a few minutes, then Lil spotted all of the toys. She demanded to get down. I tried distracting with Dora toys, no go. Then I decided that it was the fact that she could see kids playing with the toys that was making her the most crazy. So we went and looked at clothes. That worked for a few minutes, enough for me to get Lil some winter clothes. Then things rapidly deteriorated. The crying got louder and more intense. I gave in and decided to go home. Lucky for me Laura was there and was willing to pay for the stuff I found. Lillie was beyond mad and sobbing so sadly. I got them in the car as quick as possible and got the hell out of there. The silver lining on this dark little cloud was that they both fell asleep within 5 minutes. A quiet nap time again today. Not so bad, but I could have done without the meltdown.

I got my contract in the mail for an upcoming publication that I did design work for. I wasn't even sure which projects they chose to use. It's exciting that they asked me to work in it, yet at the same time I always end up at least slightly disappointed when I work for this company. They always change my work around, adding stuff (sometimes stuff that OTHER people have done!), removing things, basically whatever they choose. They combined two of my albums into one, basically using the form from one and all of the embellishments from another. I admit, it really bothers me. The embellishments include a letter "M" and baby booties that were for an album for miles and put them on another album that says "Ellen". Goofy if you ask me, but they didn't. Another thing they did is to edit my instructions so that they were simpler, but in doing so totally change the project. There is no way someone would get the same results doing it the way the directions tell you to. But, alas, it's a paycheck. Makes me think hard about the phrase "sell out". Truly, who are we to judge why an artist chooses to sell a design to a certain company? Maybe they just need to pay the bills, just like me. You know who really sells out, those nasty politicians who have received between 250k-730k in the last month from health insurance companies. Some people wonder why the issue of health care reform is so heated, but not me. But, that is a whole other post...

I'll leave things on a lighter note. Look at my big baby boy. He has decided that he simply loves sweet potatoes, and a big metal spoon. Gotta love that spoon, it gets me through dinner most nights. Ain't he cute?

good day!

I was just stressing about what to do about nap time. Nap time has always been difficult around here. Lillie only falls asleep in total darkness or in the car. It was easier before M, because I could wear her in the ergo carrier or just lay with her until she eventually fell asleep. So, we take a drive for nap time to get her to fall asleep. It's pouring rain and I don't want to get in the car. (I almost forgot what life was like with this strange liquid that falls from the sky!!) Lillie was eating lunch, Miles was happy in his bouncer so I went to the bathroom (one of those rare moments). Came back and Lillie was passed out in the high chair!! The clouds broke, angels sang, it was a beautiful moment. I got miles to fall asleep about 5 minutes later. Today is a good day!

Testing. So, I guess I am limited to 160 characters if I blog by phone. That will keep my rambling to a minimum I suppose.

a good little mama

My baby is a good little mama. She has liked holding and loving her dolls ever since she could. She rocks them, sings to them, and shhhhhh-es them too. Last week she took my nursing pillow. Placed in perfectly on her lap and held Brobee close to her. She looks up at me and says "nurse Brobee". My heart melted. She quickly got up, picked up ballerina bear, sat back down, replaced the pillow and nursed both babies. She's even been known to try to feed her babies or give them juice. Often times she carries two dolls/animals and says "two babies" just like mommy. She has also asked to wear one of my carriers and puts her dollies in it. Such a sweet little mama.

a fresh start

I've never been good about keeping any form of a written journal. I have always wanted to. I have tried and started new journals over the years, keeping up with them off and on but they never last. For some reason I feel obligated to record information chronilogically. If a month goes by and I don't write, I feel the need to "catch up". It's too much pressure!

I do, however, keep a mental journal. Every night as I lie there trying to fall asleep I come up with these wonderful, witty entries. I often think that I should get up and write the thoughts down but never do either because I'm too lazy, tired, or afraid of waking someone.

I have decided to embrass the randomness within and just write. Write to get my thoughts out of my head, write to feel like an adult when I hang out with two babies all day, and write because I enjoy it. I really have no idea what I will say or where this blog will go and that makes me kind of excited. I've hooked up mobile blogging so I can even post late at night from bed. No plan, no over-thinking, just random ramblings...