ooooo goodie

Wow, has it really been that long? Seriously? Too much has happened to back track now. We will keep with the randomness of things and just move on.





RIP my point and shoot digi camera. You took thousands of really wonderful photos and I really loved using all of the manual settings and trying to pretend you were a SLR. You lived a good life. Sorry about the abuse in my pocket on the beach that led to your demise. You will be missed. I hope you can take solace in the fact that I really, really love to take pictures and I have really, really wanted a SLR for a long time. btw- I think I'm in love.

look...

so, I realize that this post is very strange to most. I've had a long day, lots of coffe, and still have tons left to do. I'm hyper, in a good mood, and procrastinating. That's usually when I'm the most creative and strange. Welcome to a small glimpse of the real me.

Lillie just woke up politely saying. "Mama, please my mama". Awwww

gimmie shelter

I've never really thought of myself as being "sheltered" but something happened this week that made me rethink that. I was reading some one's facebook post about how she has always thrown egg shells in the disposal and lemon/lime peels in the trash and how her husband wants her to put egg shells in the trash and lemon/lime peels in the disposal. There were like 16 posts debating which one was better and how egg shells have salmonella, blah, blah, blah. I instantly wondered why they didn't put all of those things in the compost. For some reason I really thought more people composted. I thought it was even "trendy" to compost and have a garden. Wow, what a sheltered little world I live in! I also thought long and hard about why the hell people mash up food into tiny morsels and wash them away with water to end up with poop and all kinds of chemicals and crap in the water sewage system. WHY? Seriously! Organic compost soil is EXPENSIVE! You can make it for free, so why not?

Some how I managed to get the fall seeds in the ground today after procrastinating for over a month now. I stirred up the compost, pulled weeds in the bed, and expanded the garden to include an area for squash and pumpkin (which I hope was not too late to plant). I cleaned up and cut back some of the Roma tomato plants that had grown into a large bush. I also planted broccoli, carrots, cucumber, cherry tomatoes, kale, and two kinds of peppers. Don't let me fool you into thinking that I know what I am doing. Hell, I'm clueless. Like most things in my life, I get a shallow yet solid feel for the way things work and b.s. through the rest of it. In the spring I planted two things I knew were supposed to be too late. I actually got good production out of everything I planted, so I'm just going for it. It's a good way to learn the ropes. I dream of having a luscious, urban garden and am totally willing to take baby steps to get there. Gardening is in my blood, it's just a matter of kick starting those genes.

Grow little seeds, grow.

I didn't get out of my pajamas today

It's just some random day in August. It's my day off and I haven't done much of anything. It's been a really long time since I've had a day off without something planned. I ended up working in the garden for a very short period of time, decided it was too hot and went inside to order seeds. Much of the rest of the day included watching videos with the kids, looking out the window and watching the birds drink water from the puddle that had formed from the hose I forgot to turn off. That was fun and made for a great photo op. I of course took advantage...

Lillie said "mama...can we go outside and think?". We went outside and she talked with a cricket for a few minutes and we went back inside. Hmmmm. Wonder what a two year old thinks about...

We randomly took pictures on the bed throughout the day...

By the way, I have no idea what is up with my pictures being turned. I keep fixing it and it goes right back. GRRRR. I'm done, tilt your head damn it.

Randomly in the middle of the day I was promised a much needed nap...but it didn't happen. Bizarre. That one confused me.

So, I just kept taking pictures. And now it's time for bed. Hopefully this day of leisure will help with my attitude. I've been on the grumpy side and I'm ready for that to change. night, ya'll.

I am so lame

wow, I'm totally lame. I just reread some of my posts. I guess I was proud that I had a moment of non-procrastinating-lazyass-ness. Something pretty major for me. I am slowly making progress on some of my goals in life. Although I completely admit that my garden is a mess, as well as my house. s i g h, oh well.

quotes from the kids

july 2010 - told by mama - yesterday we went out front to play with the hose. As lillie walked out the front door I realized she didn't have on any panties. I ran back to grab some inside. When I walked back outside, I see her about half way down the sidewalk, dress hiked up past her waist, in a wide squat, peeing. I brought her inside, wiped her off and asked why she did it. She says "Mama, it was my choice". Wow, I didn't have a response.

july 2010 - told by dada - today Lillie had an epic stack of books going when she knocked a dozen or so, off the top. I knew she was not gonna be happy about it, correct... "honey, its ok, that's what makes stacking books fun. You stack them up as high as you can and they fall and you keep trying to stack them higher." Disaster averted. Minutes later... Miles knocked over entire said stack, though he was trying to stack, not destroy (strange). I expected bad, what I got instead was shocking. Lillie, "Its ok Miles we'll stack them up together." Holy Crap! Wow! Yay! Its working, its working!

domestic goddess

Pictures:
Today's harvest
My heirloom cherry tomato plants are huge! I think pretty soon we will have an over abundance of cherry tomatoes

I've been freakishly productive lately. Feeling reclusive and the need to reconnect with "home". This from the person who never really thought she was any good at domestic things. In the past couple of days, I worked on my garden. Weeding, harvesting, adding compost, and breaking up dirt to add more plants. The Farmers Almanac said today was good to plant root vegetables so I planted beets, more carrots, and radishes. I don't mean to sound like I know what I'm doing, because honestly I have no idea. I just go with it, try things out and log my results in a little cute journal I made (it was a good excuse to buy this cute veggie paper we got at the scrapbook store). I also baked fresh bread for the first time in my life yesterday. Granted it was with a bread machine, but still. It was good and I felt very proud. I've done oodles of laundry and other household chores. Tonight I made one of the best meals ever. I have finally perfected pot roast in the crock pot. It was freaking fantastic. I did all the dishes too. About 5 minutes ago I finished a class sample that I'm really loving. I even made TWO blog posts in a week! Now I need to return a ton of emails and do some business-ish work. Don't freak out on me, I'm not even pregnant. I think I'm just in a good groove right now. I need the personal growth.

water babies

I'm in deseperate need of some POSITIVE in my life. Here's one about a nice, fluffy, family story. No work on emotional issues or other stressfull things on my mind. A nice summer day to make it all fade away.

First day of swim season!!!

My kids already LOVE the water. Lillie was simply amazing in her aquatic skills. My mom got some "noodles" for the kids. Lillie grabbed a hold a noodle (which she calls her trapeze!) and took off swimming. She swam back and forth, up and down the pool with NO help from me. I swam right next to her, giving her plenty of freedom to go for it and test her abilities. She also spent plenty of time jumping into the water, splashing, and having a watery blast all around.

Miles loved it too. Splashed, splashed, splashed, and splashed some more. He would yell "THREE", meaning for you to count one, two, three- throw him in the air and splash down in the water. Loved it. My mom also got a dolphin blow up toy everyone calls Shamu. Miles rode it simply to try and impress his friend Clara. We HAVE to get her one of these toys, even if it never sees water.

g.r.o.s.s.

The past 5 days have been the most disgusting of my entire life. I'll go ahead and warn you now that I am about to talk about barfing a LOT. I need to vent, so if this isn't your cup of tea go ahead and click the little red X box in the upper right hand corner of your screen...

It all started around midnight on Saturday night. Miles was fussy, tossing and turning, so I was awake. I hear this faint gurgling noise, it happens again so I turn to look at Lillie. She was laying on her back, vomit coming from her mouth...she was choking on it. I jumped up, turned her over, yelled for paco, and ran to the bathroom.

******I am interupting this blog post to give a plug for co-sleeping, or the family bed. Yes, I sleep with my two children. It's been an awesome and rewarding experience and I'll look back later and life and really miss the days when I got to cuddle with them all night. Anyway, I truly believe that if I hadn't been right next to her, she had a really good possiblity of choking on her vomit and dieing. I don't know if I would have heard her if I was in the other room. She wasn't moving or making any effort to get the vomit out of her mouth when I found her. A VERY scary possibility! I'm glad I was there for her!**********

She barfed 5 times during the next 4 hours. After two bed sheet changes and two baths, I got wise and moved to the couch with towels. She fell asleep watching Tinker Bell and slept in the next morning. The next day she acted totally fine. It was really strange. She even asked to eat and was hungry. I still don't know what the hell that was about.

Fast forward to Monday evening, Paco texts at 6:30 saying Miles just barfed on the living room floor and he felt nauseas. By 6:50 he was begging me to come home from work. I got home and Paco and Miles are at the toilet, both barfing, Miles crying. Lillie, thankfully, was asleep on the couch, with a book clutched in her hands. Paco couldn't stop throwing up. Miles wanted to nurse, but immediately threw it up. He fell asleep pretty quickly after that. I had to wake him up to put towels under him and he started barfing again. As long as he was asleep, he was fine, if he woke up...

Paco got sick every 10 minutes for 4 hours. I started piecing together some info. Paco made dinner with cream based pasta sauce that had been used two weeks ago. Only Paco and Miles ate the dinner, they both started to vomit about an hour and a half after eating, and started within 3 minutes of each other. Food poisoning. Miles woke up about every 2 hours to barf. The next day it was down to every 4 hours and now he hasn't thrown up since 8 this morning (14 hours ago).

Before this week I had never had someone throw up on me. In the last 4 days, it's been dozens of times. I seen and felt the most disgusting stuff ever (ok, I know that's uber dramatic, but bare with me). After the first night, I was kinda proud, like I earned a mommy badge for dealing with barf. Now, I'm just done with it...or at least i really, really, really hope I'm done with it.

my garden

I've always wanted a garden. I love plants and flowers of all kinds. While living at Gladney, I spent some time in the greenhouse and learned to propagate plants from cuttings. In collage I had success with flowers from seeds. I never could keep a store bought plant alive though. I never thought I had enough time for a garden when I worked full time. Then I had back to back babies and was either too sick or no energy for a project like a garden. This spring I finally made it happen. I dug up the ground, prepped my garden, even made a stone border. Bought some seeds and decided that I wouldn't worry about it too much, I would just do it and learn as I went. I can't begin to tell you how thrilled I was each time something sprouted. I love to go out and check on it every day. My little helpers love it too. Lillie picks the leaves off the swiss chard and eats them. We had our first harvest this week. Sweet Peas and Spinach. Hooray! I'm so thrilled, I dug up more dirt for cantaloupe and squash.

Attack Baby

It may be hard to believe, but this cute, sweet baby is an attack baby. Anyone the same size or smaller than him should be weary and alert at all times. Subject is believed to be peaceful, although can strike at will anytime. Victims may be lulled by his general happiness and dance moves. The accused may leave scratches and or bite marks upon the face, neck and torso of his victims. His peace loving parents are trying hard to keep on top of him and nip this atrocious behavior as quickly as possible. They are distracting, diverting, and reinforcing at every opportunity.

who knew, not me

Things happen when you least expect it. We all know this, so why are we so surprised when it does?

The people who intimidate me most end up being the most like me. I realized this today and find it totally fastinating. I also find it interesting how just a small touch of kindness can put you on cloud 9. Feels kind of silly. Maybe I should work on being more self confident. No something easy for me, but always worth working on.

on another random note, I love my precious little babies. I was holding Lil tonight and her body felt so big and heavy. I clung on to it as tightly as I could, trying to someone hold on to the fleeting smallness that I have always known that is slowly sliping from my grasp. That sounds so very sad as I write it, but that's how it feels. I try to eat up and enjoy every little moment. They are getting so big, so soon, too soon. Baby boy is barely a baby. I see him changing into a kid right before my eyes. I see changes each and every day.

-The only thing you can really count on in life is change.

a post from an actual computer

Those last few posts were all from my phone. I've been having computer "issues" for a while now. Finally the thing just died. No more fixing, time to replace. My boss, on a twist of fate, had a spare hard drive and offered to fix it. It works, he fixed it, I'm as happy as a clam that I didn't have to spend any money on it!!! I'm busy tonight reinstalling programs, printers, uploading photos, and updating my ipod. Can we say I'm just a little excited to have my computer back?

The Avery casa has been busy as usual. We had a nice little family and very close friends get together for Miles' first birthday. We had here at the house (which is why I had to limit the invitation list) and just left the front door open. It was a beatiful spring day!

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Will I remember what it was like to have 2 little ones when I am older? Things like I haven't slept for more than about 4-5 hours straight in more than 2 year.

Lillie calles a "wedgie" a "squidgy". Makes me laugh every time.

In the silent darkness L says "I love you mama". I said "I love you too lil. Sweet dreams" then she says "I take care of Miles". I've been at work, I melted

birthday ideas???

Baby boy's first birthday is less than 3 weeks away. AAAhhhhhh! I still haven't decided on where to have it! Need ideas quick!

i have no witty title...

Well, I don't know that things are much better from last time I wrote, but I have decided not to feel sad about it anymore. It is what it is. I'm looking forward for change not backwards. It took me a whole month of the new year to get here, but hey, you know (sorry that last part was totally from a kid's dvd that I've seen a million times. it's late and I don't ever get much sleep, especially last night).

I set up a booth at a local handmade consignment boutique. It's trendy, upscale, with a touch of funky. She seems to be doing well and is expanding both to a new location and into space next door. Here's hoping that something comes of it. I would really love to see even a slight bit of profit, not just cover my costs. I shouldn't think about it too much or it will never happen...

I'm also hoping that I can find time to make more stuff to put into the space. I already feel stressed over being a mom, housekeepng duties (that I share), work, teach classes (which takes a boat load of time to develop, create and then set up for before you even get to the teaching part), and make stuff to sell. I really want to make something happen. That is my sole motivation. Must.make.something.happen.

Believe it or not I have made progress on cleaning out my studio. Don't let me fool you, I still have a long, long way but I motivated to make that happen too. It would really make me happy to have an awesome, functional work space.

The littles are growing like weeds. Miles will be one in just three short weeks. How the heck did that happen? I have a party to plan. Add it to the list of to do's. Between being sick for over a week and non-stop rain, they have been making me a little crazy. Independent 2 year old spirits are shining brightly. And there she is...awake...again. goodnight.



To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

hmmmm

I feel a bit lost. Like a puzzle piece missing from it's box. I had been feeling very positive and like things were getting on track for me. Now, it seem as if things have stalled out and I don't know how to kick start it up again. I started a new job, I'm the newbie there and I often feel like I don't get taken seriously. I actually works to my advantage sometimes, but I've worked retail in this industry for 13 years now so I have a LOT of knowledge that feels like it's wasting away in my little brain. I've added more classes to the calendar but many aren't even making. With the exception of one rockin class, I usually only get 2 people per class. Today I had a two hour class that has taken weeks of planning and preparation and I made $8 after it was all said and done. The only way to make any money is to get more people to sign up. I don't know how to reach out to all of the people who used to take my classes and let them know I'm teaching again. On a more personal note, I felt like I was starting to make some good new friends. Now I feel like things have kind of fizzled and I'm feeling a bit lonely. I know it's up to me to keep things going, but I guess I don't know how. How to reach out, how to make time, how to make it all happen. There are several relationships in my life that I really want to grow and nurture and develop into something...something more. I know these things take time. Maybe I'm impatient, maybe I'm too hard on myself. I just feel like I need a little more, a little kick start, a little something...

I purchased a lease on a space in a craft boutique today. At this point I really feel like I'm spending more money than I'm making and that's scary to me as it's been a rough period financially for way too long now. I'm trying really hard to make something happen. Hopefully something will work out. It has to, it just has to.